


The cruelest dream, reality

by DinoIsDead



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Child Neglect, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Stan-Centric, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, gets pretty angsty man, kind of, uhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22152082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinoIsDead/pseuds/DinoIsDead
Summary: "We'll always still be friends. I don't think that you know, g-goes away because we get older." Bill looked to Stan. "Yeah, Stan. Come on. You don't have to be so..."Sad."He should stay under letting the blistering burn of the water take him. No one would miss him or go out of their way to find him. Not even the friends who promised to never leave. They promised, but Stan should've known they were liars. They're all gone, all gone, all gone. Now he's alone. What a concept he has grown so used to. Alone. He should let the water flow through him, filling his lungs as his body starts writhing as he tries to lift his head to the surface, but it'll be too late. He would be free...OrStan has been struggling without the Losers for awhile. One faithful day they are finally all back together. Everything’s supposed to be good and happy now.....but is Stan really okay?
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Richie Tozier, Bill Denbrough/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Mike Hanlon/Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	1. I'm what they like to call a special case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We'll always still be friends. I don't think that you know, g-goes away because we get older." Bill looked to Stan. "Yeah, Stan. Come on. You don't have to be so...
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------
> 
> "Sad."
> 
> He should stay under letting the blistering burn of the water take him. No one would miss him or go out of their way to find him. Not even the friends who promised to never leave. They promised, but Stan should've known they were liars. They're all gone, all gone, all gone. Now he's alone. What a concept he has grown so used to. Alone. He should let the water flow through him, filling his lungs as his body starts writhing as he tries to lift his head to the surface, but it'll be too late. He would be free.......
> 
> or Stan is struggling without the Losers and one faithful night brings them together again....but is Stan really okay?

_"Do you guys think we'll still be friends? When we're older."_

_"What? Why wouldn't we be?" Richie had asked from his place on the hammock. "Do any of your parents still hang out with their friends from middle school? I mean, things might be different then. We all might be different."_

_"We'll always still be friends. I don't think that you know, g-goes away because we get older." Bill looked to Stan. "Yeah, Stan. Come on. You don't have to be so..._

* * *

"Sad."

He should stay under letting the blistering burn of the water take him. No one would miss him or go out of their way to find him. Not even the friends who promised to never leave. They promised, but Stan should've known they were liars. They're all gone, all gone, all gone. Now he's alone. What a concept he has grown so used to. Alone. He should let the water flow through him, filling his lungs as his body starts writhing as he tries to lift his head to the surface, but it'll be too late. He would be free.......

RING RING RING

Inwardly sighing, Stan lifted his head listening to the ring of his phone for a few moments more. His boss wouldn't be too happy if he let the call go to voicemail, he didn't even have his voicemail set up. Reaching for his phone on the towel he purposely avoided looking at the captivating glint of his broken razor.

"Mr. Uris, you were supposed to meet me at the office," His boss paused as if he were looking up at a clock. "two hours ago! If I were you I would be getting my ass in the car."

"I-I'm so sorry, Sir. I'm on my way, I swear." Stan didn't even try with excuses this time, his preoccupied brain wouldn't even make a somewhat believable lie.

"You're on thin fucking ice with this company, Uris." Stan could hear the receiver being slammed down before the call was even fully ended. 

Stan sunk back down, head lolling to the side...His eyes caught the blade. 

How strange it is, how such a small thing can fix all his problems momentarily...maybe he didn't have to go to work..

"Stop it, Uris. Stop acting weak, It's bad enough you're a failure and you're parents hate you." His bare walls echoing the quiet hiss back to him. His eyes started to become damp thinking about his parents and how they've always hated him. He wonders why the tears never fall. They just sit still as his heart feels like it's squeezing so tight that it may just burst. He didn't deserve to cry, perhaps it's because he uses his own skin as a canvas. A canvas of burns in the shape of circles and pictures made from scars, some new some old. Some from the person who he thought loved him. Not all physical. 

Perhaps he wasn’t all alone, he had Owen...Owen just wanted what was best for Stan. He should really stop saying he was alone when he had Own. Yes, sometimes Owen made Stan want to finally take that last step off, but he was only doing things to help Stan..If they cared, others would disagree with Stan, but Owen said he loved him...So that was that. Today was Friday and Owen was staying over tonight and Stan was just so tired. Even if he tried to tell Owen this all he got was a laugh and....he liked to block out the rest.

He took a deep breathe not wanting to feel the weight on his chest for just one second before getting out of the tub and wrapping himself in the maroon towel. 

He really did not want to go to work today, he just wanted to sleep and when he woke Owen would be there holding him....but, sometimes he wishes it were someone else holding him as he trembled from the nightmares. He knows, he knows how stupid he is for still longing for _them._ They were kids, he was just a dumb kid for believing them. They left him on his own. They left him with the screaming and hitting from his parents, they left him with the insults and punches from Bowers, and they left him wondering why he wasn't good enough.

He can still remember the way they could lift his spirit instantly, the way Mike always protected him, how Bev always gave him the best advice, Ben and his award-winning hugs, when he and Eddie would prank the other losers, or how.....how Richie and Bill...how they-

He really should be getting going. When he was getting ready his motions seemed automatic but his mind was going on a much much slower pace.... _Richie...Bill..._

Stan shook his head, god, if he kept thinking like this Owen would know something was up..He wouldn't want something to happen again. He had been missing his friends as usual. Richie and Bill just had more of his attention than he had for his boyfriend. Owen had started kissing Stan and yes, Stan should have liked it. He's mind should have had room for Owen only....Owen had completely lost it when the wrong name came out of his mouth when a particular spot on his neck was found. He can't remember which one out of the two names he had whimpered out. It may have been both, but he can't remember. 

All he can remember is the pain, the blood, how Owen had become too possessive, how he wouldn't stop even when Stan was _screaming_ the safe word. He still has the scar running from his upper stomach down to below his navel. Owen said it means Stan belongs to him. He couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine when thought about that night.

The drive to his work was silent, the same as every time. He was in trouble, obviously, but he knew he wasn't getting fired. The company depended on him too much for that. Maybe if he's good enough Owen will take him out for a nice dinner....

He was only hoping for a good time...he was not ready to face his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh....so...hey. This is....not the best. I am not a really good writer, but I absolutely love to write. (I also suck at editing). Buckle up boys things are about to get wild! Please be safe when reading this too, it does get pretty dark at times. I will also try to make every chapter at least 1,000 words...I hope you guys somewhat like this. Thanks, have a wonderful night (it's night for me heh)
> 
> -Dino


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A call from Owen leads to dreaded plans.

To put it simple, work was definitely the definition of hell. His boss was raging at him for being even later because of twelve o’clock traffic. Stan was expecting them to make him work extra hard since he was late but he didn’t think they would work him to the bone. 

Finally, after hours upon hours of agonizing labour he was free to leave. He practically ran to the exit happily taking his leave. Stan just wanted to down a bottle of vodka and then pass the fuck out.

Heh. He remembered when Richie had stolen some vodka from his parents room and brought it to a sleepover Bill, Richie, and he were having. They were horny, sixteen year olds and some heated makeouts had gone down that night…..

What was strange though, is that Stan can remember only parts of his past and his other ‘friends’ but he could vividly remember Bill and Richie. Granted, he couldn’t remember anything from age thirteen and younger for some reason…..

He needed to go to bed desperately, he was too tired to be thinking about this. 

His phone began ringing as he turned on the highway, he hoped it was not Owen. His hopes died when he saw the screen name, “Hey, Owen”

“Stan! Hey, babe today has been so hectic and I wanted to go out and do something nice. How do you feel about chinese food at that one restaurant across town? I know-”

“T-that sounds wonderful Owen but, I’m just not really feeling well today..You could still come over if you’d like.” Stan whispered into the phone. 

“Stan what did i fucking say about interupting me? Do I need to teach you what happens when you do so, again?” Owen growled his warning in a low voice. “N-no, I’m really sorry, Owen. I will never do it again, I swear.”

“Good boy, now as I was saying, why don’t you meet me there around seven to grab us a table and I’ll meet you there?” 

“Of course, Owen.” Stan whispered back.

“Alright, baby love you.” And with that Owen hung up before Stan could said ‘I love you’ back.

This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY I WAS GONE SO LONG! I HAVE NO EXCUSE. THIS IS SUPER SHORT SO I PLAN TO HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER OUT SOON. Also, sorry this isn’t written the best. BUT HEY SEE YOU GUYS NEXT CHAPTER! 
> 
> ~Dino

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is not the best, sorry. I am not the best writer, but I still love to write things! I hope you somewhat enjoy this angsty story. I'll try to make each chapter a 1,000 words, too! Well, I'll be going to sleep now, heh. Have a good day/night!
> 
> -Dino


End file.
